I normally tend to stay away from politics on my blog and Facebook fan page. However, on my personal Facebook page I share quite a bit. I figured that it’s a place where I control the privacy settings and decide whom I friend. I respect other people’s opinions, and actually hold them in higher regard when they share them.
Last night, my eyes were opened to a terrible bias from someone I never expected it from. It came from a woman who is the creator and owner of a large website that promotes female relationships, support and empowerment. I met her in person years ago at a PR event here in Ohio. She was one of the blogger “rock stars” I was in awe of. I followed her blog, subscribed to her newsletter, Rt’d her tweets and supported her Facebook page even though I knew we had very different political views (and continued to do so up until last night). I was young, in my early 20′s and just starting out in the blogosphere. I loved her content and looked up to her. I thought she was a fantastic blogger role-model because she supported women. I mean, the NAME of her blog is the study of friendships between women and even called for us to help each other to make it to the polls- and her tag line is “Women supporting Women” Such a great message.
It’s just too bad she doesn’t live up to it.
Last night, I was on my personal Facebook page following the election. Once it was called that Barack Obama was elected for a second term, I was upset. I had every right to be. He’s not who I voted for, and in my opinion he isn’t the best President. I’m sincerely concerned over the debt that he is creating for future generations. I voiced my opinion with this post:
As you can tell she replied.And again, it was on personal, private Facebook page where I am 100% entitled to my opinion. And she is entitled to hers. Yes, I said she was wrong- but I was in the process of explaining myself. Unfortunately, when commenting Facebook doesn’t let the other person know you’re typing an intelligent response to their comment. Thanks for that, Facebook.
Then she promptly unfriended me before I could defend my opinion and statements. While this normally wouldn’t be an issue (everyone has the right to unfriend me if they have different beliefs) it was shocking coming from her, who is such an advocate for female relationships. She essentially took her cookies and went home.So much for women supporting women. I guess it only works that way if your ideals line up with theirs.
Bottom line, I have a lot of “liberal minded” friends. I welcome their opinions. It’s something I value because I fully support the 1st Amendment. I don’t care who you are and what your views are (unless they are harmful to others) I will treat you with the respect that I would also like to receive. It’s the “Golden Rule”. The freedom to express our opinions is sacred. So many before us have died to protect that basic freedom. We should never take it for granted no matter how much we disagree with another person.
And while I’m not naive enough to believe that we were good friends, she is a person that I respected, looked up to and considered more than just an acquaintance. But after last night, I sincerely have changed my opiniont her. It’s a shame. She’s a huge blogger who really inspired me for such a long time. It’s so sad that she doesn’t practice what she preaches.I’ll be honest, I cried and lost sleep over it. Not over losing the presidency, but over losing someone I considered to be a great person.
But let me tell you, this morning I see her for the person that she is and that mourning period is over.
I guess elections do bring out the worst in people, and even though Thomas Jefferson had a great outlook on friendships- it just doesn’t apply to some people.
I guess he should have been the one to start a blog about Girlfriends.
“I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause from withdrawing from a friend.” ~Thomas Jefferson
*Edited to add- I did reach out to the person several times before writing this post. I received no response, which is why I published it.
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see in the final analysis. it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
-A poem by Mother Teresa
Yes, I’m writing about this weekend (I know you couldn’t wait for it, could you?).
On Saturday I threw my best friend her baby shower. It was a great, and entertaining time, had by all. Don’t you love when you can sit back in a room, and think “wow, I have nothing in common with any of these people” but still manage to have a conversation with them? Heh. All of these women were career minded (which there is nothing wrong with that at all) which I am not. I find that I am more about my child-which will always come first for me. Now, I’m not saying that moms who work aren’t putting their kids first. Some have to work to support their family. But, then there are the other moms who simply work so they can have all the extras, and there is nothing wrong with that as well. To each her own! But for me, I believe it’s most important to be there 99% of the time for your child when they are young (I say 99% of the time, because I have a babysitter for date nights).
So here’s what set me aback in a conversation with one of these “career moms”. My husband (the wonderful and HAWT man that he is) catered the whole thing (except for my artichoke chili dip- yummmm). He came in, set up and got the hot hor d’oeurves set out during the party so I could talk, mingle and get the games started. So yeah, basically he was super-hubby for the day. The party-goers were singing the praises of my DH’s handiwork and I mentioned that he wanted to go to culinary school. I also said that I would love for that to happen as well -and when the others asked why not- but unfortunately, it doesn’t pay the bills at this time. So this “career minded mom” jumped on me, saying how awful it was that I would “dare to squash my husband’s dream like that, and she would be thrilled to have her husband quit his job to go to culinary school”. She said it loudly. For the whole room to hear. Talk about blushing on my part! So I immediately think- wow- she just made me look like uber-meanie-wife and okay, what kind of world does this lady live in? Oh yeah, she’s an editor for the largest paper in our area and I’m a lowly housewife. They could probably afford for him to not work. For us though, it’s a little different. I pinch my pennies, shop sales and clip my coupons with gusto. I take our $150 grocery bill and turn it into a $50 grocery bill. It’s what I do- to contribute to my family. My husband goes to work to earn a living so that I am fortunate enough to stay at home with our daughter. I would rather do this than have the extras. My idea of an extra is the free Crocs I get. But back to the story… My response to the mom was “well, culinary school also won’t pay for our daughter’s tuition.” ::crickets crickets:: She immediately says (with much smaller volume) “well we’re telling our girls they have to get good grades to earn their own way into college.” The subject was then changed.
Honestly I don’t even know what to think about this situation. Does a two-income working mom not understand the sacrifices a one-income family has to make? I feel a little embarrassed, and I wish I would have said nothing about my husband’s interest in culinary school to these other women. But then again, who knew I would be judged so harshly? I’ve never seen such judgement from people I hardly knew, and at a baby shower of all places. Clearly I didn’t fit in with any of them as I am only friends with the guest of honor…