Yes, I’m writing about this weekend (I know you couldn’t wait for it, could you?).
On Saturday I threw my best friend her baby shower. It was a great, and entertaining time, had by all. Don’t you love when you can sit back in a room, and think “wow, I have nothing in common with any of these people” but still manage to have a conversation with them? Heh. All of these women were career minded (which there is nothing wrong with that at all) which I am not. I find that I am more about my child-which will always come first for me. Now, I’m not saying that moms who work aren’t putting their kids first. Some have to work to support their family. But, then there are the other moms who simply work so they can have all the extras, and there is nothing wrong with that as well. To each her own! But for me, I believe it’s most important to be there 99% of the time for your child when they are young (I say 99% of the time, because I have a babysitter for date nights).
So here’s what set me aback in a conversation with one of these “career moms”. My husband (the wonderful and HAWT man that he is) catered the whole thing (except for my artichoke chili dip- yummmm). He came in, set up and got the hot hor d’oeurves set out during the party so I could talk, mingle and get the games started. So yeah, basically he was super-hubby for the day. The party-goers were singing the praises of my DH’s handiwork and I mentioned that he wanted to go to culinary school. I also said that I would love for that to happen as well -and when the others asked why not- but unfortunately, it doesn’t pay the bills at this time. So this “career minded mom” jumped on me, saying how awful it was that I would “dare to squash my husband’s dream like that, and she would be thrilled to have her husband quit his job to go to culinary school”. She said it loudly. For the whole room to hear. Talk about blushing on my part! So I immediately think- wow- she just made me look like uber-meanie-wife and okay, what kind of world does this lady live in? Oh yeah, she’s an editor for the largest paper in our area and I’m a lowly housewife. They could probably afford for him to not work. For us though, it’s a little different. I pinch my pennies, shop sales and clip my coupons with gusto. I take our $150 grocery bill and turn it into a $50 grocery bill. It’s what I do- to contribute to my family. My husband goes to work to earn a living so that I am fortunate enough to stay at home with our daughter. I would rather do this than have the extras. My idea of an extra is the free Crocs I get. But back to the story… My response to the mom was “well, culinary school also won’t pay for our daughter’s tuition.” ::crickets crickets:: She immediately says (with much smaller volume) “well we’re telling our girls they have to get good grades to earn their own way into college.” The subject was then changed.
Honestly I don’t even know what to think about this situation. Does a two-income working mom not understand the sacrifices a one-income family has to make? I feel a little embarrassed, and I wish I would have said nothing about my husband’s interest in culinary school to these other women. But then again, who knew I would be judged so harshly? I’ve never seen such judgement from people I hardly knew, and at a baby shower of all places. Clearly I didn’t fit in with any of them as I am only friends with the guest of honor…
