May132009

When your hubby calls to tell you he is on his way home from work…

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Shhh

I love to iron clothes. I know most of you out there don’t share the same *fuzzies* I get when I pull out my long board and lay a hot one on it, so I’ll share a little secret to get you out of it.
First of all, you don’t need an ironing board to iron. You only need a stable flat surface and a light colored towel. When I was in college, I used the top of the coin operated dryer. I’ve also used the top of my kitchen table when pressed for time. Just remember to lay the towel down first, or you could burn straight through the clothes to the surface. But, I digress (you’ll notice I do that a lot if you read some of my past posts- again- on topic Katie!!)…
So back to my secret… (which only really works if you’re short like me)

When my DH calls to me to tell me he is on his way home from work (and asks if I need anything while he’s out- he’s such a good hubby!) I get my ironing board out. I also put on my most zexiest high-heeled shoes I own. I wait 10 minutes because I know it’s going to be a 20 minute wait for him to get the mail and come in the door.

Plug your iron in and let it heat up. Gather your clean clothes into a large pile at the base of your ironing board. Then, at the 17 minute mark, begin to iron ONLY one shirt. Your hubby will come in AMAZED to see you ironing, but ironing in HEELS! When he asks you why, you simply tell him (in your best Marilyn Monroe voice) that you’re too short for you ironing board, and need the extra “lift”. He’ll forget all about you ironing (although he’ll be impressed for days to come) and will only conveniently remember that you were ironing in heels. Tell him you’ll finish ironing tomorrow, so the two of you can have some time to yourselves.

Now, about those “clean clothes on the floor”. Get a washcloth out and run it under some water. Take that, and your clean clothes and throw them into the dryer. Set your timer for an hour, and go get them. Hang them up. VOILA! They’ve been “ironed”. There should be no wrinkles. If there are, well, it means that particular garment has character. Or, it means you need to drop it off at your local thrift store. Whatever works for you.
I feel bad for writing this for just the “vertically challenged”, so for you not vertically challenged folks- exploit those long legs! Put on the shortest skirt or shorts you own and tell your husband (in your best Marilyn Monroe voice) how “hot you get when ironing clothes” and all he’ll notice is that you’ve got some HAWT gams!

See? Minimal work, big results- for lots of credit.

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May132009

Your Dishwasher is your friend. In more ways than one.

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Shhh

Whether or not your dishwasher works, it’s still your friend. Even when mine has been cleaned out, it’s a great place to hide things. Table’s cluttered? Grab a plastic bag, and take everything off your table and stick it in your dishwasher. Shut the door-and viola- out of sight, out of mind! Counter cluttered from snacks your kids left out, with no more space in the pantry? Stick them in the dishwasher.
I recommend doing this when no one is around. You don’t want your 3 year-old getting into this habit (other wise you might find that your dishwasher is now the automatic car wash), and if you have company over they might think you’ve finally gone off the deep end.

You can also use your washer and dryer as “hide the clutter” stations. Dryers are great for hiding left out toys, especially stuffed animals. Just don’t run the dryer! Washers are great for just stashing dirty clothes on the floor. Don’t worry about sorting or over stuffing. Before you use it, pull the clothes out again and re-sort.

But in all seriousness-

**THESE ARE JUST SUGGESTIONS. DO NOT PUT THE APPLIANCE IN USE WHILE HIDING YOUR CLUTTER!!!**

Once your company leaves, or your husband turns his back, you really do need to take out your clutter and put it away for good. You don’t want to run your monthly bills or magazines through the dishwasher. It might be bad.

If you run your dryer full of those plastic little dolls, they will melt. You will ruin your dryer, and your child will be sending you a therapy bill in the future.

I’m just sayin’.
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May132009

Shhhh! Keep it a secret…

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Shhh

So I’m going to share with you all one of my MAJAH secrets of being a Domestic Debacle. We’re talking SUPER DL here. Do not tell your hubbies. I mean it. I don’t want my own DH knowing I do this…

Ever have someone just show up at your door? Could be a friend swinging by, the electrician, the dryer repair guy? They give you a window, but you never *really* know when they are going to be there. You are feeling lazy, and don’t want to clean, or you just simply don’t have time to.

So, here’s your ultimate game plan.

The door bell rings. You RUN (yes, you must run for this to seem believable) to your kitchen and grab your can of any cleaning solution and your roll of paper towels on the counter. Then you RUN to your front door and answer: “I am so glad to see you, but you’ve caught me in the middle of cleaning”. You should be remotely breathing hard to make it seem like you’ve been cleaning away, using a little elbow grease. If you are even more impressive, you take the time to run your hands underneath some running water, so you’re really a “cleaning” mess.

NOW A VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL:

When the OP leaves, you MUST put away the paper towels and cleaning solution, so that when your DH gets home from work, you can tell him you were about to clean until the OP showed up at your door, and you simply had no time to get any cleaning done today.

This same *game plan* works for laundry.
Grab a t-shirt or two- run to the door and explain that “they showed up on the one day a week you get all your laundry done”. As your friend steps over the pile of clothes they won’t even think about the fact that the pile has really been there for the last week. If you want to get really fancy on this one, actually throw some clothes in the washer. If not, just run it without any clothes in it. If it’s still running when your DH comes home from work- bonus for you! He’ll think you’re slaving away on the laundry!
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May132009

Strawberry Shortcake

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Last night, I went to the Juvenile Research Diabetes Foundation fundraiser for Momin’ it up! We all had a great time, with good food (go Qdoba!) good company, and goooood drinks (thanks to Jenny for heading to Meijer). In all, they raised $400+ dollars! Whoo hoo!
But here’s the real story…
I came home with a Strawberry Shortcake DvD for M from the party. That was a MISTAKE. She’s watched it 3 times, and it’s not even 10:00am yet. Don’t get me wrong here. I loved Strawberry Shortcake as a kid. I mean, c’mon who didn’t love dolls that smell like dessert? Really? But in all seriousness- moderation folks! Then again, I could go get some housework done while she watches this. Or maybe not.

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