May102011

Taking a moment to breathe. Food guilt.

AddComments

For the past 5 and some odd years I became a non-priority, always putting my family’s needs before my own.

As I sit and write this sentence, I realize how wrong of me it was to do that.

What made me finally realize it?

I own one pair of pants that fit.

Pathetic isn’t it?

And right now, they’re in the washer.

So at 12:50, I’m still in my pajamas.

And I hate being in my pajamas in the afternoon.

Actually, I have mixed emotions about it.

I realize so many people have less than that.

I could just go buy another new pair.

I could have just taken some self control, and not gained the weight I have.

It’s my fault I’m in this position.

I make excuses to not go exercise.

I make excuses to have that one more piece of bread.

Mostly, I just don’t know when to stop eating.

It was a priority growing up to finish what was on your plate, so I never learned restraint when it came to eating. This obviously has created some unhealthy habits.

Unhealthy habits that create a lot of guilt and self-loathing.

The kind that doesn’t disappear from confession.

What’s worse is that I take my unhappiness out on those that I love the most.

It’s not their fault I have no self control and am lazy, but I still lash out.

I’m confused.

I don’t know where to start.

I don’t feel like I get support.

I hate the way I look.

I need to change the way I think

I need to change the way I eat.

I need to change the way I exercise.

I need to take a moment to breathe.

 

 

Both comments and pings are currently closed.

6 Responses

  1. (1.) TIFFERSMay 10th, 2011
  2. (2.) Andrea- Mommy Confessions BlogMay 10th, 2011
  3. (3.) BethMay 10th, 2011
  4. (4.) JenniMay 11th, 2011
  5. (5.) Sharing an update on “Food Guilt”! | Domestic DebacleMay 23rd, 2011