Jul62009

Billy Mays 1958-2009

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I feel like I need to honor a legend, but I honestly don’t know where to begin.
You see, Billy Mays was my hero. And truthfully, all Domestic Debacles out there owe him their allegiance.

Billy Mays brought us products that simply make our lives easier.

I remember the first time I bought Orange Glo. I was 13, and bought it with my allowance. Yeah, I was that dork. It cleaned everything and smelled so good.
He’s brought us Mighty Mend it, so we don’t have to learn how to sew.

He’s brought us Oxi-Clean, to get out the red hair dye we might have gotten on a white t-shirt, from a makeover gone awry.
He’s brought us Kaboom so we don’t have to use elbow grease when cleaning our bathrooms or kitchens.
He’s brought us Zorbeez, to clean the spills of our children (or husbands).

He’s even brought us the Quick Chop, so no knife skills needed.

Billy was the king of cutting corners. And that’s what this blog is all about.

Not only did he sell us these products, but he loved doing it. No salesman will ever be able to capture his charisma. Many will try, and many will fail.

But Billy brought me more than these products.

You see, when M was born, she had some problems. She wasn’t able to eat and gain weight. The doctors were very worried about her, and she was given the label of “failure to thrive” (I know you’ve got to be wondering what this has to do with Billy, but I promise you I’m getting to it).

The doctors told us that we would have to feed her every 45 minutes, for as long as it took to get her back to where she needed to be: weight wise. This took two weeks of being up every night, with nothing on TV except my good friend Billy Mays. He’s the one who was there for the 2am, 3am, 4am feedings yelling at me, keeping me awake. He made me laugh when I didn’t think I could. He kept a smile on my face when I was so worried about being a new mom with a huge challenge in front of me.

But he kept yelling.

Kept smiling.

Kept selling.

Kept me awake when I needed it most.

That’s why I was so excited that the show Pitchmen came out. I made everyone in my family sit down and watch it. It was funny. It was the show my family needed in their lives to laugh a little.

Even as I type this, my husband is threatening to cancel my credit cards. He’s afraid when he goes to work that I might go on a “Billy Mays buying binge”. He might be a little right in this case.

I want thank Billy for what’s he’s done, and what he’s contributed to society.

I also feel for the children who are missing their father at this very moment. I can’t possibly imagine what it’s like for his family to lose such a wonderful person.

I know it’s hard enough just being one of his fans.

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10 Responses

  1. (1.) mommymariaJuly 6th, 2009
  2. (2.) Uncle WalterJuly 6th, 2009
  3. (3.) queenofhaddockJuly 6th, 2009
  4. (4.) Kid EternityJuly 6th, 2009
  5. (5.) HazzaJuly 6th, 2009
  6. (6.) notoriousrogueJuly 6th, 2009
  7. (7.) JohnJuly 6th, 2009
  8. (8.) k ♥ r e nJuly 6th, 2009
  9. (9.) TonyJuly 6th, 2009
  10. (10.) Jolene……July 18th, 2009