As I sit here at my computer this morning, I can’t help but think about all of the things I need to get done today (and should be doing at this moment). I need to mop the kitchen floor, do laundry, vacuum, clean up M’s toys and so on.
Later tonight, I have church, and it’s the one thing I am REALLY looking forward to. In the past I have struggled with religion quite a bit. It always seems that something was coming between myself, and my relationship with God. I know I’ve never mentioned this before, but I feel the need to touch on it now. Life can throw you many curve-balls. I have experienced more of those than the “average bear”, which is why I felt I never had much faith in anything or anyone. I’ve dealt with a lot of rejection, from family, friends, co-workers and employers. My feeling on the matter was: If you can’t trust people, how can you trust Him? I’ve recently realized it’s the other way around. If you can’t trust God, then you will have no faith in others. He must come first. He is the one who is always there, no matter what. God has made me count my blessings that I have, and not dwell on those who have hurt me. I am so fortunate to have a loving husband and a happy, healthy daughter. I really couldn’t ask for more. Or, could I? I feel that my relationship with God is strengthening, but I also feel like something is still lacking in my life. As I look around at all the material things, I know I have it all. But what I don’t have, is a core group of friends. What few friends I do have, they are scattered throughout the country, so I never get to see them as much as I like. I wish I could find a group, in my area that I can mesh with. But going out and meeting new people is tough. I’ve tried the “mom group” thing, and it was full of drama, and I got sucked into it. I became a person who I wasn’t proud of. Granted, it weeded out the bad in my life. And now I realize that the friends I had then weren’t worth the space they took up in my cell phone. I still don’t want to revisit that “social network cycle”.
I’ve recently started cropping, and I’ve met some really nice ladies through that. Friend material? Who knows. Only time will tell. I really hope so, though.
So, as I reflect on all of this, I can’t help but wonder if there are others out there who experience the same feelings. Do you feel like you’re missing something?